Another journal... what will this one contain? The last one, begun in November ‘18, was all about our Facebook videos, our African travels and plenty of reflection. It was a hibernation through Winter, mixed with experiences from the past. It was a heavyweight: in many ways, not my favourite. + It ended with fearful thoughts for the future. Then I had a reminder today to ask for help when I feel the first fluttering of fear. I haven’t felt fear for at least 6 months, so the hour I had this morning of being anxious (a culmination of the last few days) was an unwelcome reminder of times when I was trying to find Christian. I was trying to control things, trying to analyse things, putting pressure on myself to write/self-promote and wishing others would acknowledge my new direction - all of which are complete pointless activities! + It’s really been a difficult few weeks since I finished the trance sessions with Christian. It can be a lonely place, as a ‘newly-emerged’ medium - as others warned me - especially when waiting for the next steps to become clear. I’m in a holding pattern... and it’s hard not to feel frustrated and worried about logistics, finances, self-confidence, etc. It’s also easy to wonder if I’m strong enough for what’s coming next when I start to go onto a bigger stage... + However, this journal from @tangible_stationery, feels totally different. It speaks of transformations, rewriting the future & not being attached to how/when/where the limelight falls on us. It’s all powdery blue and sparkly gold - which is setting me up nicely for a magical few months. I know I’m being looked after, every step of the way, even when I’m alone. And I also know that I’m going to be ready for, and able to cope with, whatever comes next. One day at a time...